Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Endings

I got a fat little envelope from Pampers in the mail today. I was kind of excited about it because immediately my mind thought "ooohhh...free sample and coupons"!

I opened it and there were two coupons for $1.50 off packs of diapers, a booklet about getting ready to become a new mother and a newborn size diaper. I have to admit, I gasped a little at the site of it.

Hailey is my baby and she still seems like a baby to me in so many ways. I realize that she is two years old and considered a toddler -but to see how much she has grown in such a dramatic way...I have to admit that it made me kind of sad.


It is not that I want to have any more babies. I feel so extremely blessed with the three that I have. I think that my mother in law explained it the best way in the simplest terms. One day when we were over there and I was probably on the verge of tears because Hailey ate her first Cheerio or hopped on one leg for the first time (I don't remember the actual incident that occured) and I lamented the fact that my baby was growing up (and Trent rolled his eyes like he does because men just don't get it) - she asked me if I thought I would have another baby. I told her that in my head, I was happy with the way things were, it just seemed so hard to get my heart to that place. She told me that when she was giving up her job teaching so that she could stay home and raise the boys, she felt very similar and had a hard time. She said that she didn't want to teach anymore and she really wanted to be home with them - it was just very hard for her to realize that this one part of her life - the teacher part -was ending.

I guess that little diaper made me come to that realization.

3 comments:

dr said...

I know what you mean. While I love watching Mira develop, it amazes and makes me a bit nostalgic to think about all the "baby" things that I will not experience with her again. I get sad putting away some of her little outfits.

jensenbo said...

Kids grow up too fast!! You will be a gramma before you know it. :))

fisher said...

Awe, I know what you mean, it is a little heart wrenching...