Last week at Evan's soccer practice he asked me if I could give his buddy a ride home. His friends' parents were leaving and he wanted his friend to stay and play with him in the woods at the soccer field while Evan practiced. I told him it was not a problem and things were just fine until I noticed them across a couple of fields with their shirts off, kicking the soccer ball around. Shirts off? Did I miss Matthew McConaughey somewhere? Or maybe were they trying to look "cool" for the little girls that were watching on the sidelines?
Then on the way home, when I had all four kids strapped into the minivan I hear a call from the way back to "please turn it up...this is my favorite song!" The song playing was "Circus" by Britney Spears. It was not a request made by any of my kids, because my kids are more likely to beg for me to put a movie in the DVD player than to listen to the radio. I acquiesced "friends" request and turned it up and he proceeded to sing along with Ms. Spears. I heard him say to Spencer a few seconds later "Don't you like this song? This is Britney Spears - she is HOT!" I didn't see Spencer's reaction but knew from previous banter that Spencer could have cared less about Britney Spears' hotness, because he himself was hot and trying to think of ways to coerce me into letting him stay up late and run through yet another friend's sprinkler. Then Spencer's friend - a seven year old boy - yelled out the window to some high school age girls walking by that he was listening to Britney Spears - who is hot - "and you are kinda hot too!" Seven years old. I guess I console myself by thinking that he does have two older brothers. Older brothers are bad influences.
A few days later when Spencer got home from school he asked me what it meant when someone put up their middle finger. I was speechless. I asked him if someone had done that to him and he said no. He said that he saw an older boy doing it out the bus window to someone and that after seeing him, he did it and the boy that he did it to said that he was going to tell on him. He told me that he didn't even know what it meant to do that and didn't know why the boy wanted to tell on him. He said he promised the boy he wouldn't do it again and the boy told him that he wouldn't tell on him this time.
I explained to him that sticking up your middle finger at someone is like calling them a naughty word without really saying the word. I told him it was called flipping someone off. I told him that he should not do it. He told me that he didn't know and he wouldn't do it again.
I braced myself for a call from the bus driver. Thankfully, one never came.
Any other questions that I may have had about wandering into this previously untouched land of boy pre-pubescence were realized by this picture that I found in Spencer's backpack.
For those of you not versed in first grade speak, the bird is making some sort of noise and then exclaims to the others "I farted". The "person?" is saying "boo". Lastly, the dog is telling the farting bird "You stink!" Or maybe just thinking it.
I am going to need to invest in a winery!