Friday, May 15, 2015

Just keep swimming...

I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day and it immediately touched me and made me feel a little sad.  
Evan has always been wise beyond his years.  When he was in Kindergarten and First grade he struggled with reading and writing - fundamentals of school - but once it all clicked with him he more than caught up - he raced beyond everybody.  His latest testing showed him at a seventh grade reading level and over eighth grade level in math.  Reading, writing and arithmetic aside - I swear from his baby days on he has known how the world works.  He has possessed qualities that most kids don't "get" until much later in life.   

As he is getting older, school is getting more intense.  It is not just spelling tests and memorizing math facts anymore.  To prepare them for self motivation in higher learning they have much more on their plates to accomplish and organize.  This is the part that terrified me with Spencer because when it came to organization there was none there.   With Evan, that is a different story.   He always knows what is coming due.  He always has his list running in the back of his head.  I never have to question whether or not something will get done with him.

A couple of weeks ago when he had a project and a couple of tests going on during the week I could see it getting to him a bit.  When I was tucking him into bed that night he asked me if there would ever be a time when he didn't have stuff to think about.  He said he felt like he was always thinking about stuff he still had to do and worry about. 

His question struck me in a strange way.  I was proud because of the type of person he is.  It shows such a maturity for him to think that way - to plan for what is coming next and what he still has to do.  Most kids his age do not think further than their next ball game.  But it also made me a little sad because he is so young and I don't want him to be always looking forward and being stressed out about it.

I see a lot of myself in Evan.  I was very much like him when I was young and still am.   (Not the super smart part - I swear he is smarter now than I am).  On the outside we are quiet and shy but there is so much going on within.  Our brains are always going - thinking about what still has to be done - what is coming next - almost to a fault- preventing us from living in the moment.  

I am excited about his future.  He will accomplish amazing things and sail through school with great ease.   He will have his biggest supporter and cheerleader to help him through the tough parts and keep his head above the water- and we can both work on letting go of some of the worry and spend some more time jumping in the waves.

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