One more reason to hate shade.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I would love to have a garden. I have also mentioned that we have no place to put a garden except smack dab in the middle of our front yard. At this point I am wondering how much our neighborhood association would frown on that.

Our current "garden" consists of two little pots growing in our front yard. Chives and Basil. My kids cannot get enough of these herbs. They pick them right off the plants and eat the leaves. The other day I was making Spencer a turkey sandwich and he asked me if he could run outside and pick some chives to add to it. Uh....I guess you can eat a fresh herb if you really want to!

In the past few weeks we have taken down a couple of trees and trimmed a bunch of other ones back to try to get additional necessary sun to the backyard. It has helped a bit, but not in the way of a full six to eight hours of sun that a garden would need.

So for now I will just keep dreaming of a garden full of vegetables that my kids can hardly wait to pick and cook and scarf off of their plates. And keep waiting for the chance to make pesto, since the basil plant is picked bare.

Just a little black paint...

I decided that the old dresser that was in my room as a little girl needed a bit of TLC. We were using it as storage in our office and it was an eyesore to say the least.



With a bit of DAP, a few sheets of sandpaper, some black paint and new hardware...not too bad! It makes the office look a bit more elegant - so that is a good thing. The bad thing is that seeing how nice the black looks makes me want a new desk. Or maybe to paint the old one black - which would not be fun. The thing weighs about a ton and a half.



The other project that we finally completed is our message board. I found the corkboard/dry erase boards at Wal-mart and we designed what we wanted around them. We painted with magnetic chalkboard paint and we had our custom designed message board for a fraction of what the ones I was looking at online cost.

I love the way it turned out. The kids thought it was the most hilarious thing on this Earth that I wrote "my husband rocks" on the board. He totally rocks though - just wait until you see what I have got cookin' for him to build next....

In my room....

I am trying something new today. I saw this idea on the Kelly's Korner blog. She has a "show us where you live" Friday thing goin' on and this week is kids rooms. As I look at these pictures of my children's rooms through "blog" eyes - the thing that jumps out the most is how much stuff they have! The clutter that I just turn a blind eye to on a daily basis is astonishing! Our neighborhood garage sale cannot come soon enough!

I am going to start with the room that started it all. This is the nursery we decorated while I was pregnant with our first child. We didn't find out if we were having a boy or girl, but it probably wouldn't have changed the theme anyway. We wanted ABC's and primary colors - we wanted that little brain stimulated from the get go! I love the border. We made it out of trim and flashcards purchased at a teacher store.

The room has been lived in by all three of my kids. Hailey is the final inhabitant - that is why there are pink girly touches here and there. The room is our smallest room with a joke of a closet. Wouldn't you know that would be the room that our only GIRL gets to call her own. She may have to barter with her brothers for closet space! With the lack of space, we are thinking that the only bed option that will leave any space at all is a loft sort of bed. Therefore we can't really "do" her room until she is old enough to sleep in a high bed.

The blue ABC wall hanging behind the rocker was sort of the impetus for the room. It was the first thing I bought for the nursery.

My husband made this bookshelf for the room. Once the room is "girlified" it will probably move downstairs to the playroom.

This is Spencer's room. We moved him in and decorated when he was almost three and I was pregnant with his little brother. We chose a nautical theme for his room.


The bunk beds were in my mother's childhood home. They are maple and gorgeous! We were at the right place at the right time when my aunt was parting with them.

This is the bookcase that my husband built for Spencer. I get things in my head that I want a certain way and can never find at a store and somehow he always seems to build them for me.

This is a light fixture that my Grandfather made. It was in my home as a child and I wanted to use it somewhere in my house. Spence's room was the perfect place.

Toy box built by Daddy. It sits in the corner that is not in any of the pictures. I was sitting on it to take this next shot.

The dresser has custom color panels that can be changed around. We painted one set of panels to coordinate with his room. The shelves above the dresser are another Daddy creation. See what I mean about the clutter? And books - holy books, Batman!

We did Evan's room while we were expecting Hailey. He was a little over two years old. I thought the truck theme was totally inspired because at the time he was obsessed with TRUCKIES! When I realize now that he was younger than Hailey when we chose a theme for his room - I wonder what in the world we were thinking. He still likes trucks, but he LOVES dinosaurs and has for years. And dinosaur bedding and accessories are so much cuter. I don't want to completely switch over because I spent a lot on his bedding and rug. So for now he kind of has a duel themed room. He also likes to stick his artwork all over his walls.

The white desk chair sticks out like a sore thumb in these photos. "Blog" eyes are giving me all sorts of summer projects....

The two bookcases were in my husband's room when he was little. The desk was in my sister's room when she was a child. Evan doesn't have anything "Daddy made" in his room yet, but I am thinking maybe a shelf around the room maybe a foot or so from the ceiling where he can display his massive dinosaur collection. I have to keep Daddy busy this summer as well....

I hope you enjoyed your tour through my kids' rooms!

When?

When did this sweet little baby playing in the grass....



....with the big blue eyes....

...and the sweetest cheeks....

Get that toothy grin?

And all that hair?

And start walking and spinning in circles?

And begin calling me "Mom"?

When did my little baby turn into a little girl?

Time? If you are listening, I beg you to slow down a little bit.

Boys will be boys...

My oldest baby boy is growing up before my eyes...and ears.

Last week at Evan's soccer practice he asked me if I could give his buddy a ride home. His friends' parents were leaving and he wanted his friend to stay and play with him in the woods at the soccer field while Evan practiced. I told him it was not a problem and things were just fine until I noticed them across a couple of fields with their shirts off, kicking the soccer ball around. Shirts off? Did I miss Matthew McConaughey somewhere? Or maybe were they trying to look "cool" for the little girls that were watching on the sidelines?

Then on the way home, when I had all four kids strapped into the minivan I hear a call from the way back to "please turn it up...this is my favorite song!" The song playing was "Circus" by Britney Spears. It was not a request made by any of my kids, because my kids are more likely to beg for me to put a movie in the DVD player than to listen to the radio. I acquiesced "friends" request and turned it up and he proceeded to sing along with Ms. Spears. I heard him say to Spencer a few seconds later "Don't you like this song? This is Britney Spears - she is HOT!" I didn't see Spencer's reaction but knew from previous banter that Spencer could have cared less about Britney Spears' hotness, because he himself was hot and trying to think of ways to coerce me into letting him stay up late and run through yet another friend's sprinkler. Then Spencer's friend - a seven year old boy - yelled out the window to some high school age girls walking by that he was listening to Britney Spears - who is hot - "and you are kinda hot too!" Seven years old. I guess I console myself by thinking that he does have two older brothers. Older brothers are bad influences.

A few days later when Spencer got home from school he asked me what it meant when someone put up their middle finger. I was speechless. I asked him if someone had done that to him and he said no. He said that he saw an older boy doing it out the bus window to someone and that after seeing him, he did it and the boy that he did it to said that he was going to tell on him. He told me that he didn't even know what it meant to do that and didn't know why the boy wanted to tell on him. He said he promised the boy he wouldn't do it again and the boy told him that he wouldn't tell on him this time.

I explained to him that sticking up your middle finger at someone is like calling them a naughty word without really saying the word. I told him it was called flipping someone off. I told him that he should not do it. He told me that he didn't know and he wouldn't do it again.

I braced myself for a call from the bus driver. Thankfully, one never came.

Any other questions that I may have had about wandering into this previously untouched land of boy pre-pubescence were realized by this picture that I found in Spencer's backpack.

For those of you not versed in first grade speak, the bird is making some sort of noise and then exclaims to the others "I farted". The "person?" is saying "boo". Lastly, the dog is telling the farting bird "You stink!" Or maybe just thinking it.

I am going to need to invest in a winery!

Better than Botox...

No, these are not photos of Angelina even though the lips may be similar. I had some super cute photos of Hailey that I was going to post today, and then as usual - life happened - and she wound up with a nasty fat lip.

I still don't really know what happened to her. She was in the back yard playing on the play set one minute and the next I heard her screaming her head off. I ran to the backyard and didn't even see her until I started bounding down the stairs and she was at the bottom trying to make her way up the steep hill in bare feet with blood pouring out of her mouth. I grabbed her up, made sure that all teeth were accounted for and ran to the house to get a towel and an icepack.

I know that it rates as a pretty high bad mommy moment that she was in the backyard alone. Usually if she is back there she just sits in the sandbox and plays. Once in a while she makes her way to the play set, but won't go down the slides or anything. She just walks along on the "bridge". I think that as she was coming down the wooden slope to get down she must have slipped and hit her mouth. I know that I should have been back there with her - she is only two years old for goodness sake - but the fact (very selfish fact) is that I really don't like our backyard. The "hill" is a pain to walk up and down. It is always about twenty degrees colder than the front and everything is always wet. I really like the woodsy, private feel back there, but it may be time for some trees to come down to let the sun shine through. I know that Trent would be up for it - sun would mean his grass seed would grow.


As luck would have it, she injured herself mere minutes before we had to leave to pick up Evan at preschool. All the Mom's there that fawn over her felt so bad for her sitting there with her puffed up lip and baggie full of ice. Of course they all asked me what happened and when I admitted my fault, that I wasn't really sure, they all had there own "bad mommy" stories to tell me. They helped ease my guilt feelings a bit.

Chocolate cherry cake in Heaven

Today is my mother-in-laws birthday. We will celebrate by going to one of her favorite restaurants. We will then go hang out at the ball field and watch one of her grandsons play baseball while our other two kids run around and be adorable and get filthy. She would have loved every minute of it. She will not be here with us to celebrate her 67th year. She passed away this past February and everyday since we have been missing her presence and learning to live life without her.

The following words are bits and pieces of posts that I have started and never finished since she died. Thoughts that have been swirling in my head that I needed to get down on paper. Bear with me if the words and paragraphs seem choppy and don't flow well. Today just feels like the right time to post them - unfinished - much like her life that ended much too soon.
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The whole thing at times still feels like a bad dream. I can’t believe that if I went to the house and walked inside she won’t be there. Still in her pajamas, bathrobe and slippers – talking to someone on the phone until she notices us and tells them “Sorry honey, I have to go -my babies are here.” I can’t believe I can’t call over there and hear her pick up the phone and say “hello” in her voice that she described as “a little sharp”. I can’t believe that she won’t be calling me from her cell phone while out shopping to ask me for the hundredth time what size the kids are wearing because she just found the most darling outfit ever. Mostly, I can’t believe that my children will grow up without her as such a presence in their lives.

Surreal – I have a hard time trying to get my head around it.

Have I told you about the boots? Around last Thanksgiving, Lyn asked me if Hailey had boots for the winter. I told her that she did - she fit perfectly into Evan's old boots. Lyn asked me if they were pink. I looked at her kind of funny and told her that since Evan was a boy we decided against the pink boots. They were black. Nice and unisexy. She asked me what size Hailey was in because in her opinion she needed pink boots and that is what she was going to get for Christmas. She followed through and Hailey did indeed get a cute pair of pink and fluffy boots for Christmas. Lyn was so excited about them. She had gotten both girls, Hailey and Madisyn, boots and wanted a picture of them together with their boots. The boots were a big deal. Days later, I tried to put the boots on her. They were the same size as the black boots that fit great. They should have easily fit her, but they did not. Those boots did not want to go on her feet for anything. I was totally frustrated and looked through all of our Christmas bags and boxes for the receipt. I figured that I would return them. They were an extravagance that she didn't need in the first place - she had boots- and these just didn't fit - I could return them for something else that she actually needed and could wear. Long story short - I couldn't find the receipt and I didn't have the heart to ask Lyn if she had it because of her excitement about the boots. I figured they would sit in the closet and hopefully would be passed on to Mira so somebody would be able to get some use out of them. Weeks later I had a dentist appointment and Lyn and Dan were going to watch Hailey and Evan for me. For some reason (that I think I know now) I decided to try to put the boots on Hailey to wear over there. It was a struggle - like minutes of time on each foot to get on boots that should take about a couple seconds a foot to put on - but I got them on her. Lyn noticed right away that she was wearing them and was LOVING them. I warned her to leave them on her because I would not be long and they were sort of a pain to get on. (Sort of a pain - was a major understatement to spare her feelings). That was the last time Lyn would ever see her - wearing those boots. She died three days later. Since she died, Hailey has worn the boots quite often. And the kicker is -they are not hard to get on anymore, in fact, they slide on like butter. It is not often that I actually get to see God working in my life, but this was one of those times. I know that Grama is behind it, making sure that her precious granddaughter is parading around in those pink, fluffy boots.

She was a woman of great faith and I know that fact is helping those that loved her get through their grief as they continue on in this life without her. She was a woman who believed in God and the power of prayer. It is hard to know sometimes if and what people believe in when it comes to God. I never felt squeamish about it around her - if I asked her to pray about something, I knew she would - and she would pray her heart out. I actually feel like I have an advocate in heaven now looking after my family. Anyone that knew Lyn knows that she will not stand for a glimpse of the Big Guy - she will insist on and somehow make her way into His inner circle. That is just the kind of person she was. She knew many priests that she called good friends. One of the best was working in Italy when she died. He called the Sunday after her death to tell us that he had said the mass in her honor that day at the Vatican. The VATICAN! In calling to inform her other priest friends that she had passed - they all expressed interest in speaking at her funeral. Her services were prayed and said by three different priests. I remember sitting in the car after the funeral with Trent and his Dad while we were waiting for the funeral procession to the cemetery to begin. I asked Dan if he had ever been to a funeral with three priests officiating before. He laughed through his tears and said no. I told him that I thought that Lyn would be pretty happy with that funeral. Three priests - who did she think she was? She would have been thrilled and extremely touched.

I noticed at her visitation and the days leading up to it when people call or stop by to offer condolences, how much of an affect she had on so many people. Boys that her sons grew up with that are now men grieved as if she were their own mother. They remembered how she had made them feel like part of her family by providing them with food, hospitality and mothering that maybe they were not getting enough of at home. It made me wonder if I am that kind of a mother to my kids' friends and made me feel a little inferior when I realized that my annoyance with them most of the time, led me to believe that I wasn't. I carry that with me now when my kids have friends over. I strive to be like Lyn in the way that I treat them and the way they see me. Other people commented to Trent and his brothers that their mother had saved their life. I don't even know how to comment on that. By mentoring and counseling to people with substance abuse issues and realizing that you made a difference - that is so huge. Many people said that to them - not one isolated case ( and in coming to the end of your life, knowing that your being on this Earth saved ONE person - that is a pretty significant life) but that your life saved MANY. Again, I have no words...

She accomplished a lot during her time here on Earth, but I can't help but feel like she had more to do. There was so much that she didn't get to see. She loved her grand kids with everything that she had and they all have so much growing up to do that she will not be around to see. Sporting events. Award ceremonies. Proms. Graduations. Weddings. Those events would have been the highlights of her life. It feels so wrong that she waited almost fourteen years to have another granddaughter and was so thrilled that she got one and she will not even get to spoil her in the way that she wanted. Hailey will only know her through stories and memories. It seems so unfair and unfinished.

A life unfinished, along with a Christmas stocking for her last grandchild. Come on Lyn! Are you kidding me? You think I have time to learn how to do counted cross stitch?

She would find that statement hilarious. I know that where she is, she is laughing right now.

Happy Birthday Lyn! We all love and miss you so much!