Free time...what's that again?

Since Trent has been gone so much these past few weeks working on the musical, and now the musical is over (Hallelujah!) he decided to take the boys to McDonald's for dinner - the one with the play place and then to the planetarium. It is just shy of 6pm and Hailey just went to bed. She is still not feeling one hundred percent herself, hence the earlier than normal bedtime.

Since all these things have happened, I figure I have about two hours of "me" time. As most Mom's know this is a pretty rare occurrence. In fact it boggles my mind and I find it very hard to focus time on me. There is so much other stuff that needs to be done around here I feel like I can't have that time until everything and everyone else has been taken care of. Don't get me wrong, there is stuff I want to do. I just got a box (yes, a box) of photos from Shutterfly that need to be sorted. Then there is the last box (yes, BOX) sitting on my desk that STILL hasn't been sorted. I am so behind in my scrapbooks that thinking about it makes my stomach hurt a little. I want to go on the treadmill because looking at myself in the photos in those boxes makes my stomach hurt a lot! I want to download some new music for my ipod so I can get motivated to stay on the treadmill. I want to start on the photobook of Hailey's birthday that Shutterfly is giving me for free because I am such a great customer (obviously). I want to sit at the computer and read other people's blogs and visit photography sites to get some cool photo ideas. All these things to do with my free time.

What stops any of this from getting done is everyday life. There are dishes in the sink. Hailey's high chair tray and seat are a disaster. Our cleaning lady was just here YESTERDAY and the house already literally looks like it was hit by a tornado. I need to collect the trash since it goes out tomorrow. I have laundry to fold and more to do. School papers to fill out and sign. It never ends. I just don't feel right if Trent and the boys come home and the house looks as bad as when they left. I know they wouldn't care one bit, but it would just eat away at me. I know every parenting book and magazine always say that as mom we HAVE to take time to recharge and everyone will be better for it. It is hard for me to do. Writing helps me - it helps me to organize all the ideas and thoughts running crazy in my head. It gives me a center and something concrete to focus on. It is so quiet here right now. Even the quiet can help so much to invigorate the tired "momcells" that I have used up all day. Ok, so I will just pick up the living room then maybe I can get to those boxes of pictures. Inevitably, photos of the kids will make me start missing them and watching the clock for when they will be home.

Free time...I will have so much of it in seventeen years I won't know what to do with myself.

You give me fever...and worry lines...

Hailey is sick. She was running a low grade fever over the weekend and was crazy fussy and clingy. I have never seen her act like that before. But then, she has never really been sick before. She has had runny noses and colds and fevers from reactions to immunizations. But as far as a fever to fight off something in her body...I honestly can't think of a time. I guess we have been pretty lucky. Today she woke up with a rash covering most of her body and face. I know that most baby rashes are just a symptom of the virus and not something to worry about, but the presence of a rash just raises my threat level to red. I don't know why, I guess just because it is so THERE. So after dropping Evan off at school I rushed home to call in to the Dr.'s office. The nurse told me that the rash usually appears after the fever is gone and the child is on the mend. It should be gone in a few days. She suspects it was Roseola or any other non-specific viral illness that are very common for her age group. If the fever comes back or she returns to her weekend level of fussiness I am to call her and she will get her in to be seen. In the meantime, we just wait it out. She does seem like her usual self -- just dotted.

I hate it when my kids are sick. The whole duration of their illness it seems I just have this pit in my stomach. I would give anything to take their place. I especially hate illness at Hailey's age because she can't tell me what hurts or what is going on. I know kids get sick all the time and after stories I have heard this winter, we have been so lucky. (Knock on wood) My gut knows that she will be alright, but as always when I have a sick kid, there is the scary little part in the back of my head that thinks What if she isn't? What if something is really wrong? I try not to listen to that voice and just trust my gut, but sometimes it is hard. Especially at night. Nighttime has always been the worst for me. When my kids were newborns, I hated going to sleep because there would be no one to watch over them. It is the same way now when someone is sick. I want to constantly check on them to make sure they are alright. For some reason, during the day they just don't seem as sick. The night just seems to make every worry in my head come right out to the surface. I don't know if that is just part of my hypochondriac tendencies or just part of being a Mom.

Everything you always wanted to know about leprechauns but were afraid to ask.

Setting: It is around 8:10 in the morning. Mommy, Spence, Ev and Hailey all in sitting in the minivan at school waiting for the bell to ring. An advertisement comes over the radio saying something about St. Patrick's Day.

Evan: Hey! He was talking about Patrick's Day like I learned at school!

Mommy: That's right Ev! What did you learn about St. Patrick's Day?

Evan: The guys have GOLD! In big pots! And they put it by rainbows.

Spencer: They are called leprechauns Evan, and if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day they will pinch you!

Evan: I know! And they make shoes for fairies!

Spencer: No they don't! Fairies make their own shoes.

Evan: They do Spence! They DO make shoes for fairies! Right Mom? Spence says leprechauns don't make shoes for fairies.

Mommy: I think that sounds right. I bet they do make shoes for fairies. But maybe fairies make some shoes of their own too. (Mom tries to change the subject to avoid fight and subsequent meltdown) Did you guys know that Grampa Paul's birthday is on St. Patrick's Day?

Spencer: Does that mean that Grampa Paul is a leprechaun?

Evan: No. But I bet he has a costume.

Tired

Remember the commercial for Dunkin Donuts where the guy was just tired and dragging and his famous "time to make the donuts" line? That is how I am feeling right now. What a week to start daylight savings time. I am exhausted in the morning and have to drag the kids out of bed for school because our bodies haven't adjusted to the new wake up hour. On top of that, it is tech week for the musical. Translation: Trent will be gone from 7:00am until 11:00pm or better all week. For some reason it always seems like this last week is the worst. I don't know if it is because he is gone so much or if the whole extent of the past weeks of "play stuff" have just reached the breaking point. I would think it would be better - 7 more days - I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - but no. Usually at some point I will go totally nuts on the kids and then totally regret it because I realize that they are just being kids and it is not their fault that I am basically a single Mom for this week and it is not their fault that their Dad chose the career path that he did. So far though - and granted, it is not over yet - things haven't gotten to that point. I think we are all too tired.

On top of our normal everyday things to do. Monday afternoon Evan had his gymnastics class. After that, we did the cliche' over scheduled family dinner in the car on the way to RPHS so Spence could rehearse for his role in the musical. Tuesday evening we headed back over to RP for another rehearsal then on the way home stopped at Spencer's school for a Rainforest Animal Show. Maybe not the greatest idea. The school had the kid's all excited about it by giving them a ticket during the day that entitled them to touch a live alligator. Ingenious huh? So I purchased the 5 dollar a piece tickets for me and the boys and we snuck into the gymnasium (we were about 20 minutes late for the show). The image of packed like sardines would probably not quite do justice to how crowded it was in there. The boys immediately snaked their way up to the front - which was great. I held Hailey and balanced precariously in the tight little spot I could muster. It was about 99 degrees in there and of course we all had our jackets on. It took Evan about 2 minutes before he started crying about needing a drink. I was thinking the same thing -but more along the lines of chugging margaritas. I seriously wanted to drag them both out of there - I was so hot and frustrated. After the intermission (and the shedding of coats) and successfully dodging all of Spencer's attempts to buy something (because of course the hall was filled with merchandise - what little kid wouldn't want a 25 dollar stuffed monkey?) on the way out they got to touch the alligator. Hallelujah. It really was a well done show and if I hadn't been melting would have been quite impressed. The boys loved the monkeys and the smiles on their faces were well worth every minute.

So here it is Wednesday afternoon, I should be taking a nap but I missed my chance. Kids are waking up. After dinner we will run Spence to rehearsal - time to make the donuts.

Hailey: Fourteen months old

Where is the month 13 update you ask? Honestly, I don't know where the time went - we will just pretend that we are superstitious and didn't want to post for that month.

In the last month you have impressed me beyond belief with your ability to adapt to any new situation. We traveled by train, bus and automobile over to Wisconsin to visit your new cousin Mirabel. It was a long day. Actually TWO long days if you count the way home - and though the travel hassles may be something we will not want to remember - the fact that you are a now seasoned, exceptional traveler and a complete trooper are yet another way you never cease to amaze me. During the train and bus rides you were so content and happy to just watch people and smile at them. So many people told you how beautiful you are, I lost count. At Aunt Dana's house you went right to sleep in a unknown pack n' play and were not even phased when I switched your room. You fell into our strange new routine for that week like you never knew any different. Bless you for that because it is hard enough for me to be out of the norm and having you out of sorts would have made things so much worse.

It seems wherever we are people always comment to me on what a happy baby you are. It takes me by surprise at first because as your Mom you just seem like a normal baby to me. You get cranky and fussy and cry when things don't go the way your baby mind thinks they should go. But it is true, when we are out somewhere like the grocery store, Evan's gymnastics class, Dad's school or even at church - you are so content to look at people and just smile at them. I have noticed recently and mentioned to Daddy that the people you seem to gravitate to are men in their late teens or 20's. I told Dad we had to watch out because you are interested in boys already. He has started to research convents.

As far as physical changes in the past month there are two pretty big ones. Your two front teeth have FINALLY come through. I was getting a little worried that maybe something was wrong with them - but last week the tell tale sharp white points made their appearance. You can also stand all by yourself and have even taken a step toward me. Of course after you take the one step, you free fall forward into me and think that is the funniest thing you could ever imagine.
You can walk very well by holding onto someone's hand. First steps may be just around the corner.







Your seem to have a acquired a taste for "people" food. You will still eat baby food from the jars and I continue to give it to you just to make sure you are getting the nutrients you need. Lately though anything that you see someone else eating, you want. In the last week you ate ratatouille, an egg salad sandwich and red beans and rice. I was VERY nervous about the red beans and rice. They were quite spicy and I thought the after effects were not going to be nice at all. It was all fine though. I guess you have very mature taste and a strong stomach.

The weather is finally starting to warm up and I am so anxious to be able to get outside with you. I think you will love exploring outside and riding your princess car in the driveway! We will be able to take walks with the stroller and go hang out down by the beach. Come on Spring! It's been a long winter.


These photos were part of your 14 month photo shoot. You are hard to photograph these days. You just won't stay still. I had your brother's trying to distract you but even that didn't work. I still love how many of them turned out. The top one is just straight out of the camera. The other three I "fixed" a little in Photoshop. While I was working on them, I remembered great words of wisdom one of the photographers in my class said: You have to ask yourself if you are a picture taker, or a picture maker. A picture taker shoots what they want and a maker shoots and figures they will fix it in their editing program. I realized while I was doing this that I mostly want to be a picture taker. There is nothing wrong with changing something to black and white or bordering edges, but I don't want to take pictures just to change them into something completely different in Photoshop. It sort of seems like cheating. At least that is what I think now, just wait until I purchase my own editing program. I could reverse my stance on the matter. Wow! That was way off topic.

Brothers and Sisters

Evan has a love/hate relationship with Hailey. Actually hate is probably a little strong. More of a love/completely irritated and frustrated by my sister most of the time kind of relationship. Hailey is fascinated by her brothers and wants to be by them and do what they are doing. If she is bothering Spencer, he will just pick her up and carry her away from him and that works for about 10 seconds - which is the time it will take her to get back to him. That scenario will replay a couple times until he brings her to me to contain her. Evan just gets mad at her and screams "NO HAYBAY!" when she is getting into his art things or crawling over the puzzle he is working on. He looks at her and looks at me in disgust and I know he wants to pound on her but knows he will get in big trouble if he does.

Sometimes he will make the best of her destructiveness by building towers of blocks for her to knock down. She loves that for about 3 towers worth then is ready to move on - which will then make him mad that she doesn't want to cooperate with his game. So it is rare when he wants to interact with her a lot. Yesterday was one of those rare days. When I was about to feed her cereal he asked if he could do it. He did and he did a great job. She was loving it and he was proud of himself. He told me "Mom, I am good at this!" He even wiped her lips off with the spoon. He was a little appalled that he got some on her hand, but I told him that was just fine. Then later, before afternoon naps, he asked if he could give her a bottle. As you can see from the pictures - he did a great job with that as well. I guess you could say yesterday was a LOVE day.

I am curious to see how things will play out with the kids in the years to come. Our little family is a weird dynamic for Trent and I. Trent with all brothers and me with one sister - we don't know how families with boys and girls interact. Spencer and Evan like to play together now, but a lot of what they play consists of Evan watching what Spence is doing (like computer games and Wii games). Evan and Hailey are a little closer in age but opposite sex so I wonder how they will interact in later years? Evan has little to do with her now, but I predict in the years to come they will be good friends and he will be very protective of her.

I love his hand on her head. How cute is that?

Laughing at spilled milk.

On a photographic note - these pictures were taken with natural light and a ramped up ISO - IN MY FAMILY ROOM! Where did all that light come from? They look a little blurry here but viewed big on the computer they are full of noise. So that is a little disappointing. The top photo was a little washed out so I went to darken it in my Elements program. In dinking around with it I wound up with the picture here - which I love. It reminds me of a color touched photo yet kind of black and white.

Ratatouille

Ever since seeing the movie, the kids have been curious about what Ratatouille was and what it was made from and what it tasted like. Is it made by rats? Are there rats in it? I did a search and found a pretty simple recipe for it and decided to try to make it. It sounded good. Eggplant, squash, onion, red pepper all in a tomato sauce base - this recipe said to serve it over penne noodles. It looked great and colorful in the crock pot as evidenced from the photo above. Of course as it cooked all day, the vegetables got a lot mushier and it thinned out a bit. All in all, it tasted pretty good. It was a little plain for my taste. Maybe another recipe would have it spiced up a bit, some different variations. The kids ate it. It wasn't their favorite dish but at least now they know what it is.

Evan helping to make the Ratatouille. He was so proud!

The boys and their plates.

Hailey liked it the most. She was shoveling it into her mouth!

One of my favorite things about cooking is to see the garbage disposal side of the sink full of onion skin, celery ends, pepper stems and seeds etc. Basically showing me all of the fresh produce that is going into the meal. It makes me feel like the kids are getting more quality nutrition. I am trying to cut back on the amount of processed foods that we eat. It is a daunting task and by no means do I think I can ever eliminate all things processed. Pretty much everything has some sort of processing involved. I am more of the mindset that instead of popping a frozen pizza in the oven, I will try to buy a pizza crust and add my own sauce and toppings to it. I will not go as far as to make my own pizza sauce or crust. That is just too much time and energy that I don't have at this time. So there will always be some processed items in our diet.

Our "meal plan" has helped a lot with this. Every Sunday we try to put together a plan for the week depending on what we have going, who will be home etc. It is hard to find the time to do it. Our Sunday evenings (which seems to be the time we do it) are already so filled with homework, projects, bathing kids. When we do, it benefits us immensely because our week is much less chaotic. We base the plan on things we have in the pantry and refrigerator. We make a grocery list at the same time for the things we will need. We go through recipes to figure out ideas - mostly tried and true old favorites, but I like to try a new one at least every other week. Usually on Monday morning I will go to the store and we will have the ingredients for the whole week. It makes it hard to find excuses not to cook and keeps us from turning to takeout. It saves us a lot of money and also a lot of calories to do it this way.